The Daily Rat Race

After what has seemed like an eternity I have finally left the world of students and ascended into the world of true adults. I have become a cog in the machine that is the national workforce and now drive the country forward in a way that benefits us all or at the very least me in the form of a pay packet. The greatest aspect of ascending into this world for me has to be the daily rat race me and millions of others endure in cramped humid smelly trains, trams and buses. It seems I’m one of the lucky ones as I drive to my local train station which avoids any cramped buses and my train journey is at most 15 minutes long. After never actually having been semi crushed by a sea of suits and pin striped skirts i wasn’t well prepared for my first crushing on the train. I got on and as polite as ever allowed two women to get on the train ahead of me. Oh how I regretted that decision. They took up the two remaining seats which meant i had to stand near the carriage doors. For most people this is not such a big thing but when you’re 6 foot 4 inches tall and the carriage is at most 6 foot 1 inches high it becomes a very uncomfortable journey indeed. Added to the fact that it had been raining and most of the people were very damp as well as the fact that it was very warm, the smell of crammed sweaty bodies squashed against each other made it a very smelly and sticky journey. Leaving that train made me think that this is what the people who managed to leave the black hole of Calcutta must have felt like.

My journeys haven’t all been doom and gloom I have learnt a lot of mannerisms and etiquettes which must be observed on the train. One of them being do not fall asleep if your journey is less than 20 minutes, the primary reason being that you will most probably miss your stop if you do and the fact that you may also get robbed whilst in your slumber. Another peculiar one is that you should never try to strike up a conversation with anyone on the train ever. I tried to talk to the woman stood next to me during one journey and the woman looked at me with a look of fear and horror with her eyes telling me “please take my bag just don’t hurt me”. Although I’ve not experienced it yet myself I’m guessing passing wind whilst very cramped would be a big no no for the obvious reason especially if you’ve been eating broccoli, sprouts or any other greens.

Reading seems to be a popular pastime whilst on a train and some people have mastered this to make it into an art form. Although this may not sound very impressive but when you’re pressed against a window or being thrown from side to side reading becomes a whole lot more difficult. I’ve noticed people swaying to the rhythm of the train whilst standing so they don’t fall over or get pushed to the side, this may sound easy but it’s very difficult to do, do it wrong and you end looking up like a mental ward escapee. Other than scaring a woman by attempting to talk to her my greatest achievement in my journeys so far has to be peeing whilst the train was moving. I still cannot believe I managed to get every single drop in the toilet. For those of you who may have used train toilets you know that this is no easy feat and requires excellent syncing with the swaying of the train as well as brilliant aim, I’m pretty sure only a small number have managed to do this and I’m proud to say that I’m one of them.

I guess I’ll have to wait and see what other wise wisdom and experiences my daily run in the rat race can offer me before i can truly say I’m an experienced commuter.